Driving Your Date Away 101: Part I


Ever find yourself having a date gone extremely “off the rail”? Then you probably shouldn’t be saying this…Want to get out of a drab date? Say exactly this.

1. So, what’s wrong with you? 🙂

2. What should we name our kids? ***looks honestly confused***

3.  I didn’t take my meds today. I wanted you see me in my natural. ***serial killer smile***

4. Okay, if you’re going to be seeing me, you’re definitely going to have to be smoking more of pot.

5. What’s your bra size? (never ask a guy that. Ever.)

6. ***cries***

7. Is that hot friend of yours single?

8.  ***shifts to robot and pirate voice every second line***

9. HAHAAHA you eat like a baby elephant!

10. I don’t think that anybody actually flosses daily…and brushing twice a day?! Why do you think they invented gum? PFFT! stupid people! Well: they aren’t fooling anybody!

11. I’m all for gender equality and all as long as the woman knows her place. At home. With the kids.

12. My last name is Cullen.

13. Ugh, I feel so gassy today!

14.  Let’s get this put of the way. I like kids. Really, really like kids. ***pedo smile***

15. So, do you like whips, chains, knives and hot branding irons?

16. My period is so heavy today!

17. Any sentence that uses the words ‘noodle’, ‘midget’, ‘duck’ and ‘condom’. Use your imagination why.

18. Your little guy….***stares at groin*** pretty little huh!

19. ***punches***

20. (if you’re punched) hahaha your punches are like getting hit with balls of paper!

21. Wow, that’s…amazing? But enough about you. Seriously. ***poker face***

22. Let’s share our sexual experiences…. ***perv smile***

23. Oh dammit! It’s Wednesday!! I missed happy hours at the strip club! ***upset***

24. In Yoda talk; ride me you should. ***adjust geeky glasses***

25. Baby tonight we ***weird sex dance with weirder noises***

 

So well, that’s all for part one. Keep reading for more. I’d love to hear feedbacks from you guys.

Aaand; I’m out. 😀









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4 thoughts on “Driving Your Date Away 101: Part I

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